THE ADORER’S BLOGS (A Short Story, Last of 7 Parts)
It took a while before grandma reacted and said with her eyes still closed, “Would you like to read it aloud for me?”
“My pleasure!” I answered. With tremendous excitement that I opened the blog entry and started reading…
My Everdearest Charming,
“Happy 60th birthday… Rest assured that I never stopped thinking about you… God knows I never stopped loving you…
Now I can tell you… I worked in the Middle East only for 3 years… I returned to our country thereafter but I decided never to bother you… I made it appear to you that I stayed for good in the Middle East. Please forgive me for that.
I was there when you graduated in college and in graduate school…you just did not see me. I was there during your 30th, 40th and 50th birthday celebrations…I was there each time that I wanted to see you… Each time I would only be watching clandestinely from the distance and through the tinted glasses of my car…How lucky I would be when I would see you daintily tending the flowers in your garden as my car rolled by. You know so well that just seeing you would give me immeasurable joy. But I was wondering why you seemed to be sad every time I see you alone in the garden.
How I almost died in jealousy each time I pass by and witness in your terrace how gently your husband would kiss you in your cheeks and lips.
I was there also when you got married at the age of 25. You were the prettiest bride that I have ever seen. That was the most ironic moment in my life. While you were tying the knots, mine was unknotted for it was that day when the court approved the annulment of marriage that my wife filed. I never got married again for I vowed that you would be the last woman I would love.
Why did I stop blogging for the past 10 years? Your husband got sick and I don’t like to give you anymore additional burden, I wanted you to give him undivided attention. When he died, I tried to respect your bereavement. I may have stopped blogging, but never ceased in tirelessly watching you from afar.
I was watching, again from a safe distance, when you and a young gentleman came out of the gate of your house several minutes ago.
Upon hearing that portion, my grandma opened her eyes and excitedly exclaimed, “What did he say again?”
“Grandma, he was there when we went out to search for him, he saw us.” I retorted.
“Oh, that melodramatic fool,” my grandma said in exasperation.
Believe me, I was the happiest person on earth when I saw you. I would like to believe that you were looking for me, that you wanted to see me. I hope I am not so presumptuous, but under the bright light post I saw in your face how much you wanted to see me. When you were unable to locate me, I saw how sad you were, the same sadness that I saw when during our first and only date… it was a picnic that we had then… I told you that I would be leaving for the Middle East.
Now I have one request to make. I will now allow you to comment on this post. Please answer my questions.
Do you love me? Would you allow me to live the last days of my life with you?
My grandmother obliged. She requested me to encode her reply to her adorer’s questions.
If only you tried to show up before I got married, things would have been different. Right from the start you have stolen my heart. But I was so young and so afraid. I didn’t know what to do. I cried when you left. I wanted to stop you from leaving but I don’t know if you would listen.
I cried every time I read your blogs. And as the days, weeks, months and years passed I felt how much my love for you have grown stronger.
If only you appeared in the church during my wedding I would have ran to you and asked you to bring me anywhere you wanted. But you never did. I did not ask you to make the supreme sacrifice of giving me away to someone else because you always wanted to tow the line of propriety and morality. I don’t know if I would consider that sacrifice on your part or was it cowardice. It hurt me that you did not try to stand by your feelings for me. I would have preferred to be ridiculed by my friends and family…by society…than lose you.
You are right, I was not happy all those years because I kept waiting for you. My husband knows about you, about my feelings for you. We quarreled many times because he resented the fact that I could not forget you until such time that he accepted that you would always be part of me.
But I never told him about your blogs. Your blogs kept me afloat but I preferred seeing you in flesh and blood. I waited that show up and take me away, but you never did. My husband knows that anytime you appear he may lose me.
And here you are now, finally.
How cruel of you not to have blogged the past 10 years. It was during those years that I needed you most. Not just that. You doubled my pain. For not blogging you kept me drowned in anxiety. I did not know what happened to you. I thought you finally get tired loving me. I thought you were sick. I thought you were dead.
How cruel of you not to have just showed up, kissed and embraced me when I went out of the house earlier.
I want to see you in my garden tomorrow. Forget about me if you won’t come.